Mom•ing

/mom-ing/
v. To behave as a motherly figure
Over the past few years, I have slowly become the “mom” of every friend group I have been a part of, and I have developed tens of “children” to look after.
Part of me loves being the mom. I love taking care of my friends, doing little things to remind them that they are great (because they are), and watching them succeed. Watching my friends do kick-ass things makes me so happy- and not like just a lil happy, but more like the being engulfed with pure joy and love kind of happy. Simply put, I love moming, and maybe a little too much.
Sometimes I get carried away with the whole mom thing, and I forget that before I am their “mom”, I have to be their friend. When I see a friend slipping, my first thought is to push them right back into line, but I can’t do that- well I can, but I shouldn’t. Essentially, my job is not to nag them into studying or lecture them about their choices but to be their support system when they need it. This concept has always been hard for me because when it comes down to it I really just want to help, and I start to freak out when I’m not sure if I can.
Frankly, being the “mom” of the friend group is hard. Really goddamn hard.
Sometimes being the “mom” means being the bad guy and not saying exactly what they want to hear. Over the past year alone, I have had to pull my friend out of a toxic relationship, help a friend deal with loss, and help an inebriated friend from making a messy situation. It’s hard to be the bad guy when things get tough, and it is even harder to draw the line.
Whenever something gets messy, everyone expects me to know exactly what to do, and honestly, sometimes I don’t. It’s scary to know that people are looking to you for guidance when you are also just as scared and confused.
That’s not to say I don’t love being a mom because I do. Being the “mom” has most definitely been the most rewarding part of my life so far. Every once and a while a friend will thank me or even just give me a genuine look of appreciation, and I live for that.
Even though being the mom isn’t always ideal,  watching my friends grow into wonderful, self-loving human beings and being able to think that I got to be a part of that makes it all worth it.
Love you alottle,
tori
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